Belly laughs the naked truth about pregnancy and childbirth
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| Main Author: | |
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| Format: | Books Print Book |
| Language: | English |
| Published: |
Cambridge, MA :
Da Capo Lifelong,
2004.
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| Edition: | 1st Da Capo Lifelong Books ed. |
| Subjects: | |
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Table of Contents:
- So you got knocked up? (getting pregnant)
- Honey, your sperm really do work! (pregnancy test)
- Barf-o-rama (morning sickness)
- Niagara in my pants (vaginal discharge)
- Psycho chick (hormonal rage)
- Holy shit, I think I hard-boiled my baby! (taking hot baths)
- Granny panties (letting go of the G-string)
- I can either pee on you or you can get the hell out of my way! (frequent pee breaks)
- Passing stonehenge (constipation)
- Is it a penis or a vagina? (finding out the sex)
- Can I have a mustard sandwich with pickles, anchovies, peanut butter, and a little cottage cheese?
- Oh, and throw a few fish sticks on there! (cravings)
- Where in the hell can I find a muumuu? (nothing to wear)
- Freddy Kruger ain't got nothing on me! (dreams)
- Is that an apple on your rectum or are you just happy to see me? (hemorrhoids)
- Hi, porn star! (engorged breasts)
- Ready and squeeze--your kegels (an exercise for the vagina)
- Well, it's not 1972 anymore! (baby boomers explaining how it was in their day)
- A sewer tank explode, or did you just fart? (gas)
- Hands off, dude! (strangers touching your belly)
- I can't see! I'm bleeding! I can't stand it! (weird and painful bits and pieces)
- Www.ihavetostopbuyingbabyshit.com (on-line baby stores)
- Is it hot in here or is it just me?--it's just me (hot flashes and fainting spells)
- Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oooooooohhhhhhh!--I'll take another one of those, please! (orgasms in pregnancy)
- The crying game (hormonal blues)
- So, anyway, like I was saying--wait, what was I saying? (wandering mind)
- Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the prettiest pregnant lady of them all? clearly not you, lady! (face acne and rashes)
- It's a bird!! it's a plane!--no, it's a really swollen pregnant lady! (water retention)
- The McRib sandwich (back pain)
- Headaches (headaches--duh)
- That ain't my ass! (cellulite gain)
- No, not yet! I'm not ready for this yet! (premature labor)
- Poopin' on the table (the dark side of delivery)
- The blue twinkies (your swollen vagina)
- Die, model bitch, die! (hating skinny people
- Ooooh! I think I felt the baby move--or maybe it's just gas (baby kicks)
- Organizing freak (your nesting instinct)
- Breathing for dummies (Lamaze)
- What the fu*k are these? (stretch marks)
- I just need to lie down for, like, five minutes--okay, maybe three months (sleepiness)
- Pig in the pasture (sex in the ninth month)
- The moment of truth (labor and delivery)
- Let me repeat (husband no no's).
