Don't Let the Turkeys Get You Down No matter how hard you try and no matter how much stress you put on yourself and your dear family, Christmas is not always going to turn out perfectly. You can do every single thing I suggest in this book, plus a few old wives' tales, plus all of your girlfriends' suggestions, and it can still all "go to hell in a hand basket," as my grandpa used to say. Want proof? One Christmas we were having our typical houseful of people over: The entire Bice family; our in-laws, the Grahams; our dear friend Lori and her daughter; plus anyone else we could think of. That year, my son Tim and I had shows on QVC during Thanksgiving, so we didn't have the chance to host a traditional turkey dinner at the house like we usually did. So instead we decided we'd make all the Thanksgiving fixin's for Christmas, which called for only the best spread we could produce. We planned and planned and planned. During the season I'd been watching QVC, as usual, and saw a large deep fryer. Well, you know I just had to have it. I'd heard that deep-frying a turkey was the best, and I was determined to give it a try. I ordered the fryer and within a few days it was at the doorstep. I called Lori and told her we needed to take it for a test-fry! We decided that she would be the turkey chef extraordinaire, the one in charge of figuring it all out. The next day Lori arrived at the house with all the supplies and set about the big "turkey test." The turkey came out crisp and brown on the outside and tender and juicy on the inside. I have to tell you . . . it was close to the best thing I've ever tasted. It always seemed to be that the turkey breast got a little dry by the time the dark meat was done, but not in the deep fryer. And, surprisingly, it wasn't the least bit greasy. Well, Lori's turkey was a huge success so we added it to our Thanksgiving-for-Christmas menu right on the spot. Christmas Day dawned a bit gloomy, but we weren't worried about the deep fried turkey. What could possibly go wrong? Lori and I had been cooking for days, and we had enough food to feed a small town. We were going to roast a turkey, make a big pot of homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, a big batch of sausage stuffing, sweet potatoes, roast prime rib, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, rolls and, of course, my famous coleslaw. The piece de resistance was going to be the deep-fried turkey with a huge helping of prayer that the bad weather held off. Preparation was well under way, and it was only an hour and a half until dinner. Deep-frying a turkey takes about an hour, so it was time to get the oil heating. So far, so good . . . the weather was holding off and we knew we were going to make it! An hour before dinner, the turkey was in the oil, bubbling away like crazy. Wouldn't you know it, fifteen minutes later the sky opened up and rain came pelting down. As you know, water and hot oil don't mix, and after a few minutes of grease splattering everyw Excerpted from Jeanne Bice's Quacker Factory Christmas: Simple Recipes, Fabulous Parties and Decorations to Put Sparkle, Not Stress, into Your Season by Jeanne Bice All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
