From CAN'T LOOK AWAYSometimes I say I hate the way my fingers look. There's really nothing wrong with them, but you have to hate something about how you look, right? When other girls say, "Oh, I hate my hair. It's so curly," or another one say, "My thighs are huge," then I say, "I just hate my fingers. They are so stubby." I figure why not make the hated body part something that really doesn't count? Lately though, I've been kind of thinking my fingers really are ugly. I stop the recording, watching my fingers carefully. I'll delete that clip. I push record again. "Hello, Beauty Stars!" Do the wave again. Don't focus on your fingers. "I'm so sorry I haven't posted for so long. So many of you have tweeted to ask where I've been lately and I wanted to update you . . ." I stop recording, then watch the clip. The face reflected in the monitor is like a ghost over the images on screen. My eyes look so tired. And sad. The tears well up and spill silently down my cheeks. This isn't what my fans sign on to watch. They want me to tell them whether to buy a Mac222 crease brush or a Mac220 blending brush for their Bobbi Brown eye shadow. My vlogs are always supposed to be confident, inspirational, and delightfully personal. Viewers know all about me. They want to be me. It's a big responsibility. Excerpted from Can't Look Away by Donna Cooner All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
