Let's pretend this never happened (a mostly true memoir)
Overview: When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are...
| Main Author: | Lawson, Jenny, 1973- (Author) |
|---|---|
| Format: | Books Print Book |
| Language: | English |
| Published: |
New York, New York :
Berkley Books,
2013.
|
| Edition: | Berkley trade paperback edition. |
| Subjects: |
Table of Contents:
- Introduction
- I was a three-year-old arsonist
- My childhood: David Copperfield meets Gun & Ammo Magazine
- Stanley, the magical talking squirrel
- Don't tell your parents
- Jenkins, you motherfucker
- If you need an arm condom, it might be time to reevaluate some of your life choices
- Draw me a fucking dog
- That's why Neil Patrick Harris would be the most successful mass murderer ever
- No one ever taught me couch etiquette
- Just your average engagement story
- It wasn't stew
- Married on the fourth of July
- There's no place like home
- Series of helpful post-it notes I left around the house for my husband this week
- Dark and disturbing secrets HR doesn't want you to know
- If you see my liver, you're gone too far
- My vagina is fine: thanks for asking
- Phone conversation I had with my husband after I go lost for the eighty thousandth time
- Then I go stabbed in the face by a serial killer
- Thanks for the zombies, Jesus
- Making friends with girls
- I am the Wizard of Oz of housewives (in that I am both "great and terrible" and because I sometimes hide behind the curtains)
- Psychopath on the other side of the bathroom door
- Open letter to my husband, who is asleep in the next room
- Just to clarify: we don't sleep with goats
- Stabbed by chicken
- It wasn't even my crack
- Honestly, I don't even know where I got that machete: a comic tragedy in three parts days
- I'm going to need an old priest and a young priest
- That's why you should learn to pick your battles
- Hairless rats: free for kids only
- Then I snuck a dead Cuban alligator on an airplane
- You can't go home again (unless you want to get mauled by wild dogs)
- Epilogue
- End (sort of)
- True facts
- Bonus Chapter: There's a serious lack of prostitutes on this tour
- Acknowledgments
- Readers guide.